Awbvious trivia
Q1 . Why is this background this color? (Last Answered: June
17, 2004 5:16 AM)
Q2. What card does Awbvious always keep in his guitar case?
(June 17, 2004 5:20 AM)
Q3. What the hell is the nitey-nite pill? (June 17,
2004 5:24 AM)
Q4. Is it true awbvious smokes 'nich almost everyday?
(June 17, 2004 11:53 PM)
Q5. What does "take care of one's self" mean?
(June 18, 2004 0:20 AM)
Q6. Does Awbvious believe in god? (June 18, 2004 0:45
AM)
Q7. Why is everything always so hopelessly jumbled and outtadate
and unorganized? (June 18, 2004 11:17 PM)
Q8. What does Awbvious eat and drink on a daily basis? (July
11, 2004 3:29 AM)
Q9. Who does Awbvious live with? (July 11, 2004 3:40 AM)
Q1. Why is this background this color?
A1a. (June 17, 2004 5:15 AM) Who the fuck knows?
A1b. (June 17, 2004 5:16 AM) Awbvious has a weird nostalgia for early ninties web design. Where backgrounds were one color, sometimes an arbitrary color, and the text (font, style, etc.) was simple. Where images were scarce, after all, you were lucky if you had anything better than a 14k modem back then. Still, none of these Flash whozewits, and javascript/psp/whatsowhatevers, and pop-up applet bullshits. I like things simple. I like fucking text. Alright, fucking A. Must I explain myself all the time to everyone?
Q2. What card does Awbvious always keep in his guitar case?
A2. (June 17, 2004 5:20 AM) The Ace of hearts. Why? See answer A1a. It's an old card, from a deck now long gone. Like a cheap hotel deck, nothing special. But the one that survived getting lost to the nether of clutter-regions and disposal-places was the Ace of Hearts. A single heart-icon in a white expanse. With "A" in the corners. It's just "A heart." The singularity, and conjectured loneliness that must come with it--or so conjectured--fits me kinda well, i suppose.
Q3. What the hell is the nitey-nite pill?
A3. (June 17, 2004 5:24 AM) Zoloft, 100 mg. And mornings its my "wake-up" pill, 150 mg of Welbutrin. A mild coctail for a mild-depressive--constant both. It works nice, though, like an off-and-on switch for my brain. I've been on this regiment for about... what... 3 or 4 years now? it's just so convenient, to use a pill to tell your brain, tis time to sleep, tis time to wake, either way tis a blessing in a way. Or just life.
Q4. Is it true awbvious smokes 'nich almost everyday?
A4. (June 17, 2004 11:53 PM) Well, everyday when I can... The longest I've gone without in the last 5 some-odd years is about 3 months. And the longest I've gone without in the last 3 years is probably a week or two, and it's always a monetary thing, not like a desire to quit that dissipates quickly. There's no desire to quit. I have an addictive personality, that is, part of my personality. I do a lot of things routinely, repetitively, to mixed results (writing is one of these things). Art gives only so much dopamine, but being a fiend for dopamine means I'll be trying to find it whenever possible, so i do a lot of art... Maybe... Regardless, I don't want to subsititute with alcohol as many eventually do. I really think my personal conviction is enough to avoid the alcoholism inherent from both ends of the blastopore. And I wouldn't want to continue smoking just out of fear of substitution. But I do believe in TTP (Temperance Through Pot), and so far my addictions have been going full-tilt and to no serious ill-consequence--I think, by first picking addictions that won't make me something with which I couldn't live. Right now, i'm already on other chemicals (see previous question), that are more socially acceptable, but how much different? Anyway, the answer is yes. But... Wait, you're not a cop, are you, 'cause you have to tell me if you are... Anyway, I invalidate everything by saying this whole site is entertainment, "awbvious" is a character of my own imagination, which I will at times inhabit, and I'm not saying that anything he does is really what I do, ipso facto, so maybe I don't, habeas corpus, writ me up, notguilty as charged.
Q5. What does "take care of one's self" mean?
A5. (June 18, 2004 0:20 AM) It's a euphamism for onanism, because "onanism" is too religious and if I ever end up leaving semen on a windowsill, you can be sure it was by accident... Is that really how that story goes? Eh, who knows... Anyway, when i'm "taking care of myself," it means I'm going to go out back and shoot myself. Or something like that. It's not something I particularly enjoy, no more than a hitman would enjoy doing a hit. As opposed to when I do a hit. Anyway... It's not that I mind so much people knowing, if they are curious, or I wouldn't define it here and other places. I just don't like its inherent connotation, whether I approve of it or not, it can be distracting to even a progressive-minded reader. I don't mind distracting a reader, just not inadvertly. And, I guess, I don't want the casual reader to know what I mean. Casual people are very casual about the way they perceive and criticize, so i don't really want them privvy immediately to what I do intimately--albeit routinely and unapologetically. So, hence, all the euphamisms. I mean, it's practically medical, I do it to take the edge off, and my life is "edge" so I feel I'm "taking care of myself," as if i were having chicken soup for a cold. But it's really chicken soup for the soul. And we're back to religion. But I got over it in 7th grade Catholic school, i made a choice (god lost), and i've been happy with the decision ever since.
Q6. Does Awbvious believe in god?
A6. (June 18, 2004 0:45 AM) You know... The only reason I'm hesitant to answer that is... People are stupid, they kill over the idea of "god." I'm not afraid to answer 5 or 4 and get lambasted and ostracized. But if i answer 6 wrong, well... Athiests have been hunted and killed. They have no "excuse" unlike minorities or gays who are just "unfortunate" for being born that way. But Awbvious can't be afraid to be honest about any part of himself, part of why this site was started was to be honest about all the shit that people are afraid to talk about. So... As explained in A5, there was kindof a showdown between 5 and 6. With Catholics, it's "all-in," no half-steppin. You have to concede it's a sin, you have to confess to it, and you have to admit it was wrong to get absolution. As long as you admit it's wrong, you get into heaven, otherwise... My 8th grade Catholic school teacher said, paraphrasing, "if Hitler is walking down the street, suddenly gets a heart-attack, and is about to die, but he makes his peace with god, and truly feels remorse in his 'heart-of-hearts,' then he can get into heaven." But I diddle about a little and I can't get in unless I feel bad about it? Well, that just frustrated me, but that wasn't enough to just chuck it all. After that though, I did some more thinking about things like heaven, like how could there be such a place of constant bliss? How could that not get boring? What can you "do" in this magical place of bliss? And hell, it's just as unimaginable to think of contant pain, sorrow, that wouldn't eventually dull and get boring as well (and after a while "being beyond one's comprehension" becomes a little tiredsome for a catch-all excuse). And it's silly that in some villages they'll wear the skins of animals, drink psychoactives, and think they're suddenly infused with the spirits of animal dieties... But how is it much sillier than when I stand up and sit down and kneel and sit down and listen to the same damn carefully-selected stories from the same damn book. I mean, we say we base everything on this infaluable manual but we'll only talk about the 10% that isn't about owning slaves and tossing your wives and daughters to hostile mobs--oh, and also try to forget that this 10% has already been rewritten 10 times over. But... I love my mother, who now works in my old elementary Catholic school, and she is a perfect example of everything good about being Christian. Which is why I still act Christian in almost every way, except without the theological superiority that allows judgment of others (afterall, it's every Catholic's duty to spread the good word about the one true god and be a missionary for christ's light, or whatever). I do it for the mental health and for the social benefits that come from such a lifestyle of benevolence, non-violence, and genorosity. I'm christian by philosophy and lifestyle alone; the dogma is just too silly for me.
Q7. Why is everything always so hopelessly jumbled and outtadate and unorganized?
A7a. (June 18, 2004 10:17 PM) Because I don't get paid a fucking dime for doing any of this. And, I the artist, can not be slowed by such petty needs as yours for easy access to my art. Hopefully I'll have more money to devote more time to this site, but like true artists, i'm not doing this to make money. If i was, well, i'd be a fucking failure, as I've been working on this site for a few years, been writing and performing songs a little longer than that, been writing fiction for more than a decade... And to date, the only time I've ever been compensating for doing any of these things... Sure I've had one or two small writing jobs here and there, but nobody's paid me for anything already written, or what I'd want to write. And I've made a few CDs, and given a few out, but i've never sold one. And this site? Not a dime, not even indirectly through a job opportunity, nothing. Every perfomance I've done has been an open-mic. Except once. Once, it was on Easter. A year ago, I think. Damn, I don't know when Easter is... Or was it Palm Sunday? Found it, the only time I've been paid to do what I love, which is create art freely under my own terms. When I make a yearly salary of a little over 3 bucks in this non-business, you get what you're not paying for:
April 21, 2003 9:14 AM
I didn't even upload--that's how unserious i was about the request. I don't want your money. I just want to make art........ HOWEVER. dude, this is weird, okay, after church on easter, which i had to do at lite... weird, nduring the time i wrote that evidentally. Well, i was late for the 11 service, and i see why. though it was closer to my parents than to be me.
So anyway, enough about that, after church, i was walking past this group of oldish people. They were in the outside of a resturaunt. And, like, theer was a musician guy playing on his electric keyboard, what i thought was the beginning of a Mathis song, i said, "good song." He heard me and said "you wanna sing it." I was already moving toward him before i said yes.
It was actually a Tony Bennett song, "i left my heart in san fransisco." i didn't know the words, but i sang some other stuff, played a little harmonica, and was tipped afterward by the patrons of the resturaunts. I got 2 fives and 3 and 1 ones. Total: $14.00. Now, we all know the magic number 13. But this is 14. Maybe its a four twenty sign in disguise? (After all, it was after a day, a long day, a day i slept in for like 15 hours afterwards--of constant smoking.)
1400. Hmm. Well, 14 100. Hmm. 4/20/2003. Okay... Hmm. 4 20 20 03. 14 00. Hmm... Maybe its the denominations. 5 5 3 1. Hmm. 5 5 3 1. and 4 20 2003.
I of course, have only 10 min to finish studying before my midterm. He writes this, with the tube in his mouth. I only got the book yesterday, i only woke up about an hour ago. I had absolutely no time to study with the book... Just tons and tons of time, to, say, go over notes... No, see, well, the first midterm or the combined quiz is dropped...
April 21, 2003 9:24 AM (thegreenroom 3-15-03--4-25-03.htm)
A7b. (June 18, 2004 11:17 PM) Oh right... My point. Well, I just remembered. So i get paid jack, but i still create art, cause i'm a locomotive poisoning your mind with my intellectual pollution, puff puff chug chug, well puff puff. Well, I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I create art faster than I care to organize it. I really must do another round of updating the various sections of my site, as it is... Unless you want something hopelessly outdated by about a year, or greenroomed stuff, you have to search through new.htm (aka. "What's New?") to find it. Hopefully A7c will say "all my links are up to date, and I got lots of other shit that wasn't online before, all linked up, and in the right places." Or it might just what "what the fuck, check yo self, and step." Depends on how I feel that day.
Q8. What does Awbvious eat and drink on a daily basis?
A8a. (June 23, 2004 2:14 AM) Hmm.... Well, as of today, and recently in general... well. I drink about 6 red bulls a day, sometimes as low as 4 a day, depending on how much mate i'm brewing. Hmm... I see I'm out of ginko. I usually have about 180 mg a day. I don't consider it taking a drug, but indeed like eating, which i basically only do to maintain minimal bodily functions and power my brain. So i consider it a food. My friends kept chiding me about how little scientific evidence that says its much better than a "candy bar," quoting an article in a science magazine to which i subscribe. Well, you see if you can eat as many candy bars as you want without getting fat. Which is why it could be considered a diet-drug, but i don't know, as i clearly have no problem keeping off weight (last weighed at the doctor's two weeks ago: 138 lbs, for 6'1"). So could mate. Yerba mate has a chemical in it similar to caffeine, mateine, and red bulls got caffeine and taurine, taurine gives off beta-somethings in our brains, which we addicts like. Anyway, when i do eat anything, its like a large bag of snack mix, some powerdered donuts and maybe a croussaint or two. Lately I've been eating ice cream sandwiches also. i find cooking not worth the benefit of hotness to my food, as i am not into eating for the enjoyment (if i was, i might overindulge, as i clearly do anything i do enjoy and can easily attain). I drink about two or so large cups of yerba mate a day, i have a cup specifically for mate, that is on a warming plate that is always kept on (I've been doing this for about 4 years now, so i'm not worried about burning down the house, and no one else should be either) even when there's no liquid in it because it's evaporated, but the mate, and the coffee-filter papers that hold it, and the kitchen twine that ties up the filters, will keep drying, and never mold this way, and when i pour in fresh hot liquid, it mixes with whatever is left of the mate after its evaporated, and that's good stuff. mmm. i just add bags of mate, each old one makes it thicker and richer. And that is pretty much it. I never drink alcohol anymore, i mean, i never have a reason or an occassion for it, alcohol goes against the idea of giving power to your brain (weed has a slight power drain, but compensates in the rewiring adding to productivity). I have really only used alcohol to get me laid, which is why i really only mix drinks in mixed company, and i haven't been trying to do that, so i haven't been drinking it. Poker night i just have red bull, and smoke, that is my indulgence. What more... That's pretty much it, besides water. I drink lots of water, i rarely go anywhere without a crystal geyser 1.5 liter by my side. in california, you can't always tell what that means, which is good, as only the people who could possibly get it, will. Anyway, i drink about one of those a day. But only crystal geyser, its the best bang for its buck. evian is slightly tastier, but not worth the price. bought in bulk, geyser, in 1.5s or gallons, it's about the same, and a damn good deal.
A8b. (July 11, 2004 3:29 AM) Ginko straight, usually, but sometimes Ginko Biloba with Vinpocetine, 5-20 mg, a few times a week, if that. Oh, and Kiwi Strawberry Kool-Aid Jammers. Damn, those are good. And I'm still eating the croissants pretty heavily. Right now, I'm eating some peanut-butter nuggets, but Laura Scudders is the only brand I like for peanut-butter nuggets, and these aren't Laura Scudders (can't seem to find the damn 3-lb bag, that's the shit, right there), so I'm not eating any more of these pale imitators. I'll have another croissant. Oh, and Heide-brand Gummy Bears, that's the shit, as well, but I can never seem to find them in anything bigger than the tiny 40g bags you can get at gas stations and whatnot.
Q9. Who does Awbvious live with?
A9. (July 11, 2004 3:40 AM) Well, other than my imaginary friends, and my furry friend (also known as the one creature non-psuedonymized, for I can't imagine him needing anonymity) riji (short for a longer bulgarian name that supposedly stands for "clockwork orange"). However, riji was psuedonymized as "Socrates" when he made cameos in Shit and Perversity. I chose Socrates because the idea was that Socrates could be shortened into "Socs," as an affectionate, pun-inteded, "pet name," but I never refer to Riji by the shortened "Reej," which is what the German would call him, as I felt that was a bit patronizing, or something, but the German did call him "Rijeronimo," as well, which I did like. I used to live with the German, as well as Mark Musclestein, but no longer. I miss the German, but not Mark (abusive drunks, even if not "intentionally," I've had my full of them). I think I prefer living with Logan Rickens though, the German had an annoying habit of saying "are you hiiiigh," which is something I really like hearing only from fellow stoners. I used to live with Mark, the German, J.B. Mac and Jake Egesta, when I lived in a living room (a "room" with only two walls--my that was shitty), after I got kicked out of my apartment, where I used to live alone (except for my cat, and eventually the CFA, which is why I got kicked out--fucking bitch). My current living situation is with J.B. Mac and Jake Egesta and Logan Rickens, they all live upstairs, I live in the dungeon/garage below, and it's quite to my liking. Where it not for the guilt of debt, I'd even say it's my favorite living situation so far--otherwise I'd have to say my pre-CFA days when I lived alone in my studio with my cat. Thus, once I do relieve myself of this enormous debt (enormous for me--thankfully, not so much for them), I will be quite satisfied.