Preface:
These are all the messages I sent using the match.com service to literally unsuspecting women. As of December 8th, 2010, I am putting them all online, and I'm putting this in my profile (if they let me--UPDATE: They wouldn't let me): "http://www.awbvious.com/matchemails.htm Read every message I've ever written on match.com." And I plan to keep updating this with more messages.
July 27, 2010
hey
I never know how to start these emails, so I'm just going to start with "Hey."
Hey.
I saw your profile, and I thought you were very beautiful. Furthermore, if one puts faith in such things, we are compatible in 18 ways according to Match.com. Perhaps it matters that I am 31. You said in your profile you were looking for someone at least 33.
So, you're a dudette, dude, that's cool. And you work with singers. I happen to be a singer. Not a paid one, but I do sing every day, often a couple hours. I even record my practice on a voice recorder, you can hear what I sound like on my commute from work at USC, (I'm not sure if they prevent people from giving out web addresses) awbvious-d-o-t-c-o-m/vr.htm . Or just google "awbvious" you'll find stuff that way (including some youtube videos of me singing in my car).
Anyway, I'd like to know som e more about you. How are you doing?
--awbvious (aka [name2])
July 27, 2010
Hi Aichaaan
I'd love to have a crosscultural experience. I'm actually very interested in
Japan. My friend is always encouraging me to watch anime. These are two posts
I made on a bulletin board about anime: http://bbs.wiredminds.org/viewtopic.php?t=2577
http://bbs.wiredminds.org/viewtopic.php?t=2249
You're very cute. kawaii. Tell me more about yourself.
July 29, 2010
RE: Hi Aichaaan
Yes, I live at [location]. And I go down to Main Street often. In fact, I will
be going there later tonight. I will be going to Perq's (www.perqs.com) to perform
music. Perhaps we could get together (I'll be getting there around 10 PM), if
you like live music. Otherwise, maybe we can meet over the weekend. If you're
interested, send me a text message. My phone number is [#]. Thanks.
July 29, 2010
holla back
So, I found your profile by doing a search for "420"--as I am very
friendly to 420, and 420 is friendly to me. I live in Huntington Beach, but
I go to LA most days of the week as part of my job. (I work and go to school
for my masters at USC.)
I'm glad you like music, because music is a huge part of my life. You can hear all kinds of recordings by me by going to my website www.awbvious.com. There is also a lot of blogging in "the green room"--which I usually get blazed and write in.
I don't have a truck, but my car is dirty. I also don't snowboard, I've seen
snow maybe twice in my life (I've lived in Southern California my entire life--so
I'm very used to the beach). But if you like someone who is funny, I happen
to be hilarious (no caps though). In fact, if you went to my website right now,
you could hear a comedy bit that I have been working on for one o f my writing
classes.
http://www.awbvious.com/audio/awbvious--unrepresented2.mp3
Hope to talk to you soon.
--awbvious (aka [name2])
August 29, 2010
Hi
Do you like soul music? I mean, I know you wrote Neo soul, but that's a bit
different. I mean, like Sam Cooke, Otis Redding, Marvin Gaye, Gladys Knight.
I just recently went to a Gladys Knight and Smokey Robinson concert. It was
very good, only the woman I was supposed to go with told me the day of the concert
that she had a boyfriend. And I ended up going alone. Anyway, I just like listening
to soul music and wondered if you did to. If so, what are some of your favorite
artists?
August 29, 2010
Hi
I noticed you were looking at my profile. I thought I'd do as you suggested
and drop you a line. How are you doing?
August 29, 2010
hi katie/millsy
It's like you said, "you know what to do!" I'm glad you like art,
because I love to make art. Perhaps my favorite pastime is to work on something
that will be later, tangible art (well, music isn't tangible, per se, but you
get the gist). I'd like to make art with you. How about sending me an email
if you are interested? Then we'll talk about how we can make some art. Thanks!
--[name2]
August 29, 2010
hey, I saw you were checking out my profile
So, I checked out yours, and you are very attractive (if you do hide a bit in
your pictures). The pictures are very good, by the way, great composition and
color. I love music and nature (in particular my cat), and I can be a true gentleman.
Tell me more about yourself? Thanks.
--[name2]
August 29, 2010
420 4 real?
Hey, if you smoke herb, maybe we should get together and smoke. my website is
www.awbvious.com and my email is _awbvious_@talkmatch.com.
August 29, 2010
zen676
I'm taking a risk emailing you, you have no pictures of yourself up. But I like
taking risks. Where are you getting your grad degree? I got my Visual Arts degree
from UCSD. But I started as a physics major. I like both science and art myself.
In fact, right now, for my Masters in Professional Writing, I'm taking a class
on Science Writing. Send me an email with some pics. _awbvious_@talkmatch.com
Oh, yeah, you can check out my website too, which I started in 2003 as a project
for a Visual Arts class, www.awbvious.com . Hope to hear from you soon. Bye.
--[name2]
August 29, 2010
hi
I like your profile and your pics. I would like to get to know more about you.
If you respond, I'll give you a lot more about me. Thanks.
--[name2]
August 29, 2010
hi
How are you? I noticed you noticed my profile. And I thought, hey, she's probably
too attractive for me, but why not try to email her. (You are very attractive.)
And though I am probably wasting both of our times, I thought, why not write
you a poem:
Pockets, pockets
Such lovely eye sockets
That hold the orbs
My soul absorbs
With every breath
Until my death
I will always say this
Yours is sweeter with every kiss
I've search afar
And wide, in my car
Looking for a face that could inspire
Lips that could set mine on fire
A nose that knows where it should be
On a face that is just as lovely
Oh pockets, sweet pockets
It ain't the science of rockets
It's simple chemistry
Between you and me
And why I shall always say
You are lovelier every day
So, pockets, if y ou want another poem, just send me a message. Thanks. --[name2]
August 30, 2010
RE: Hello
I'm starting to get into Aretha Franklin and Greenday. I've always liked the
Rolling Stones, they are probably my favorite Rock and Roll group. Yeah, I love
soul music, right now I'm listening to Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell.
So, there are a few places in Orange County that supposedly play soul music. http://costamesa.memphiscafe.com or maybe http://www.bourbonstreetfullerton.com I've never checked out either before, how would you like to come with me to see one on Friday night? Or maybe you know of a better place? Thanks.
--[name2]
September 04, 2010
RE:
No, I only listen to music when I listen to the radio. I love music, and singing.
If it were up to me, I'd make a living singing, but instead I'm trying writing
as a profession. (We'll see how that goes.) I never got into watching shows
about food, they just make me hungry. I haven't gone bike riding in a long time,
I prefer walking, particularly along the beach. Travel might be fun, but I have
a cat, and would probably worry about him too much if I went anywhere (but my
mother can watch him for a while if need be). Where would you like to travel
if you had the opportunity?
September 04, 2010
I look to like if looking liking move?
What does that exactly mean? Thanks for the wink. Santa Clarita is pretty far
from Huntington Beach. What kind of film projects are you working on. I wish
I was doing something with my film degree...
September 04, 2010
nice shot of main street in your pic
Do you like main street? We should go and hang out there together. Are you a
lion? I love cats, so that's a plus. So, what's going on? I'd like to get to
know you.
--[name2]
September 04, 2010
not into yodeling
So. You're a newport beach native? I'm a huntington beach native. You're half-way
through your masters, as am I. I'm not sure exactly what higher education gets
you, but I'm going to find out. You're very pretty, by the way. And you seem
like someone who likes to have fun. That's great that you work in a school,
my mother was the librarian for my old elementary school. My father's a professor.
And I, too, work at a school, USC, in fact. What's your favorite bad tv shows?
September 04, 2010
hi
at first I was concerned you lived too far away, but I just google mapped corona
del mar, and it's not that far away at all. I'm glad you're interested in me,
because I'm interested in you. I think you're very pretty. I'm a bit of a romantic
myself. Perhaps you'd like a poem?
She had hair of golden flax and waves
And eyes that seared and sung for days
A million men would die to be her beau
Some would wish to bask in her glow
Some want to own and keep her
But she is too quick a leaper
She flits about and teases gently
And for her I wrote this medley
Tell me more about you, I really would like to get to know you. How are you finding corona del mar?
Oh, by the way, the song you reference in your headline... I am into yoga, and I do have half a brain. Hope to hear from you.
September 06, 2010
RE: Subject
All kinds of writing. Scripts, blogging, etc. Just got done writing a blog post.
You can find me by googling "awbvious". That's pretty cool, having
shakespeare for your headline. I wrote a piece on Hamlet revisited, where I
took the iambic pentameter and made it iambic tetrameter couplets. Hard to explain
without reading it. I like USC, it's a great school, attractive women everywhere.
I'm just too shy to get to know any of them. My cat's name is Riji--it's Bulgarian
for "orange," I got him from a bulgarian woman.
September 06, 2010
RE: hey, I saw you were checking out my profile
I know you haven't responded to my other email, but I was wondering if you would
like to get together? If you do, send me a text message, [#]. Thanks.
--[name2]
September 06, 2010
Hey Ana
You like R&B? I love R&B! Particularly the old stuff, from the 60s and
70s. You're very pretty, I'd like to get to know you. If you are interested
in getting to know each other, please send me a message. Who's your favorite
R&B artist? Mine is Sam Cooke. I get shivers every time I hear "A Change
Is Gonna Come"--probably because that's how I feel. Someday, a change is
gonna come. For me, that means finding a woman who I can spend time with, maybe
grow old with, definitely marry and have children with. Your eyes talk to me,
they tell me you're a kind and interested soul. Let me know if you are interested!
Thanks. --[name2]
September 06, 2010
You are too fine for words
I just want to worship your body. I sent you an instant message, but you didn't
respond... That's okay. But I have to tell you again, your pictures excite me.
I can't believe you are single. A woman like you, I would do anything to keep
you happy. If you wanted I'd sing you a song, I'd write you a song, I'd write
a dozen songs and make an album just to your beauty. I hope you will consider
sending me a message back. Tell me, for example, why you chose the name blackrose...
Whatever the reason, it clearly applies to you.
Anyway, I'm not expecting a response--I'm not attractive enough probably. But I feel a woman who's beautiful should know it, and so I am telling you now, you're amazing.
September 06, 2010
hi
I saw your profile and wondered if you wanted to get to know each other. I'll
tell you like-it-is, I send a lot of emails and don't get much responses. So,
forgive me if I don't blah blah blah more in this email. But if you are interested,
let me know. I'd love to go find a good place to eat some spicy food.
September 06, 2010
you are 3 times more likely to reply
according to match.com, you are 3x more likely to reply. we'll see if that is
true. I have a good sense of humor, I'd love to make you laugh. But I'm not
going to tell you everything about me, I've heard women like a little mystery.
(Actually, that's a cop-out, I just don't want to tell you everything as I've
been on this match.com thing at least a month now, and writing long, detailed
emails to women who don't respond gets kind of irritating. Buuut, you are 3
times more likely to reply, so I guess I should put in 3 times more effort.)
Yeah, sounded jaded isn't going to help my chance of getting a response... I'm
not jaded, it's just when it comes to these first emails. Let me know you are
interested. Like, tell me, what's your favorite place on Main Street? Mine is
Perq's, but I like all of main street.
September 07, 2010
irish blessing
Dear OC_Ginger,
I haven't seen anyone who's excited me as much as you have. (I'm a sucker for red heads, and Irish-looking women in general.) I feel the same way about clubs, I am not a club goer. I prefer something laid back and intimate, preferably without extremely loud music.
If you are looking for a good Christian man, then I'd like to suggest myself--though that doesn't sound very humble, I am very proud of my Christianity. I believe everyone should be treated the way Jesus would treat them, and I believe in the way of life that He taught.
I just want to treat you with respect. Much love and hope to you... What's your cats names?
--[name2]
September 08, 2010
RE: hey, I saw you were checking out my profile
Saturday and Sunday are both free. Saturday night sound good to you?
September 10, 2010
RE: hey, I saw you were checking out my profile
Hmm, well, we could go down to Main Street in Huntington Beach and check out
the bars. But that's only a suggestion. Perhaps something near you would be
better. What's a good spot around you that you like to go to? I don't really
care what we do, we could even stay in and play board games.
September 22, 2010
yoga?
Hi,
Are you looking for someone to do yoga with? I have been doing yoga for over seven years, I love it. (Nice wheel pose. Or Urdhva Dhanurasana, if you want to get technical.) I dig the fact that you don't have a TV, they are just wastes of time. You want to get together and do yoga? Hit me up.
--[name2]
September 23, 2010
hi
I hate writing these emails, I never know what to write--though I'm a writer,
so I really shouldn't have any excuse. Actually, that's probably what bothers
me most, not the effort put into writing the letter, but the fact that I can't
use what I wrote as part of my oeuvre (I think I spelled that right). I really
like your profile, and that you like reading. If so, I will write you very long
emails--should we get to that point. Right now, I am shooting into the wind,
hoping the wind will respond.
You should check out my website to see if you like me (www.awbvious.com). Reading my blog will give you a much better understanding of me. (But I am very forthright in my blog, so it might deter you... Oh well, I figure it's better to get to know each other now than to find out later that we are incompatible.)
It's good you live in Westminster, I'm right on the bo rder of Westminster. So... What else should I write about... I'm glad you adore animals. I have a cat, and I absolutely love him. Love me, love my cat, I say. Oh, and we have similar graduate student ambitions (I am at USC right now, in fact, where I go for my Master's in Professional Writing degree). I am very family oriented, sometimes more than I care to be (I moved back in with my parents a few years ago).
I'm glad you feel the same way about communication as I do. Communication is key in any relationship. So many people have problems just because they can't talk to each other. Anyway, i'm pretty damn quirky, so I think your quirkiness will just endear yourself to me. So, give me an email! (I usually only write one paragraph, you must be a VIP... I could use my "vip email" but that seems cheesy, I have yet to use it.)
Email me, please.
Thanks,
[name2]
September 29, 2010
RE:
I sent you a song, I hope you like it. I say, let's get together this weekend,
I'll tell you all about me then. Right now I am at work, so I don't have time
to give you anything detailed yet.
My number is [#]. When you get this, send me a text message, and we'll plan somewhere to meet? What do you think?
--[name2]
September 30, 2010
hi, yourself
I was just searching through match.com and came by your profile. You are very
attractive, and Westminster is right next to me. How would you like to meet
up on Main Street sometime this weekend? If you'd like to know a little bit
more about me, just ask! Hope to hear from you.
September 30, 2010
hi
I just came by your profile. Can't say I feel one or the other about cooking.
But I can probably make you laugh. Tell me more about yourself if you're interested.
Thanks.
--[name2]
October 09, 2010
not a bag
But you will not know unless you try. Why me, you think. Or, rather, why you.
That is to say, you would think, "why you?"--"you" being
me. I'm sorry, I'm a bit flustered. I've taken the rejection of silence too
harshly. It has made me a bit bitter.
This is where I say, "I'm totally a nice guy, you gotta hear me out, this is why you need to go out with me..." But I am beyond that. It rarely gets me anywhere. But nothing is getting me anywhere.
Aren't you sick of this? Reading messages, hoping to connect with someone, but how can any of them really get across what the person is like? I mean, you will look at my pics and think, "sure, if he was a super nice, awesome guy I'd put up with a guy who looked like that. But how will I know he is like that? It is better I go for Mr. Sculpted Bod. He might be super nice and awesome and an Adonis to boot." I un derstand this logic. Which is why I fault you none.
Natalie, I hope you will send me a message back. Just a "hi." And a little indication that you want some more, and I can turn this florid prose into a bouquet for your enjoyment.
October 13, 2010
Hey
You want to get together and get sushi? I've been meaning to try that new place
near main street, near CVS. By the way, I need a haircut. Maybe you can help
me. I'm willing to be molded. When I get a haircut, I usually let the person
do whatever they feel like, I prefer the singular vision of an artist. (Your
hair is quite lovely.) I don't have much in the area of "style"--I
wear the clothes people (family) buy for me. But you look nice, so I thought
I'd drop you a line. Enjoy match.com!
--[name2]
October 17, 2010
i had a great time
I just wanted to say I had a great time last night, and I'm really looking forward
to Tuesday at 8 PM. Only I don't know what we're going to do on Tuesday at 8
PM. What do you want to do? I'll be happy spending the time with you regardless,
that I know. We could try another restaurant, if you can't think of anything.
Anyway, please send me a direct email at awbvious@awbvious.com . Thanks.
October 20, 2010
hey hunbun
Looking for a partner in crime? Let's start a crime spree. Chemistry is very
important, I'll give you that. I'm glad you like to sing while driving in your
car--that's all I do for nearly two hours everyday. I consider it practice,
but for what, I do not know. Maybe it's practice for getting to sing for you.
I've been told I give great messages, we'll have to message a disinterested
third party and see what they think.
Anyway, let's go down to Main Street have a few drinks, what do you say? I am free this weekend. Thanks.
--[name2]
October 20, 2010
Mystery
Sure, I like mystery.
I like also how you use "_" so you could get your profile name. I think the reason why "awbvious" wasn't available, was I had a match.com profile a very, very long time ago (back in 2003, I believe). But match.com didn't work out for me back then, and the jury is still out on whether it will work this time.
I've seen your profile a number of times, and I've wanted to contact you. I thought maybe I already had, but according to Match.com, you are "5x likelier" to respond. I don't suppose they would say that if I already tried contacting you.
So, we both live in Huntington Beach, that means we're both probably very familiar with Main Street. I'd like to go there and have dinner with you sometime. Would you like to?
--[name2]
October 20, 2010
hi peeshy
I like "curious, kind, classy, fun, funny, intelligent and honest."
Especially honest, I find that very important. I've danced salsa a few times,
even taken a class, so if you like salsa, I know some places we can go to dance.
Humor is an essential part of my life, if I didn't laugh at myself and my situations,
I don't know what I would do. I do like exploring new places, and that would
be very fun. That reminds me of when I used to be best friends with an Iranian
guy in high school, we would always drive around just to find new places. As
for musically inclined, I am very musically inclined, I sing everyday. I also
play harmonica and guitar. If we were to date, I'd write you songs.
So, salsa? If you want to go, let me know. Thanks.
--[name2]
October 20, 2010
you've been checking out my profile...
Could you possibly be interested? I'm interested in this "fish by sea."
If you are conducting a social experiment, let me be one of your test subjects.
You're a Newport Beach native, I'm a Huntington Beach native, so we shouldn't
be too different in terms of backgrounds. I, too, am a college grad about half-way
through my masters. I, however, don't love bad tv, I would much rather have
a conversation than watch something mediocre on television. Anyway, I'm not
sure if I sent you a message already, if I have, I'm sorry to send you two.
The last thing I ever want to do is pressure anyone.
How about we go out for sushi? I just went to Ra on Main Street in Huntington Beach recently and it was quite good. I'm open for suggestions though. I hope the best for you regardless. Thanks. Take care.
--[name2]
October 20, 2010
not a bar fly either.
I can say, I actually read all of your profile. Which is impressive (for you,
not for me). It shows you are a talented writer, and, thus, smart.
Reading your deal breakers... You say if I (or whomever) smoke cigs or pot "a lot" then you may not want to kiss me (or whomever) "much." This suggests you are at least accommodating to guys who smoke a little. I've given up cigs (got a patch on me right now), but I do smoke pot. I even put it in my profile. I'm thinking it might be turning away potential matches, but I want to be honest and get all my less-than-desired traits out there (of which there are only two that I know of, namely the pot thing and living at home with my parents--I am not as successful as you are). Gee, the more I write this the more I realize how great a catch you are, and how much I'm not.
If you like exchanging emails before phone calls , that's fine by me. I have lots to say in email. But I'd rather not email something too long until you want me to. But I am in the mood for a good courtin'. I will write you very long emails if you so desire. Create art in your name. Do the things that are at least considered romantic.
Anyway, that's my pitch. It's not that great. But do you want a salesperson or a honest and caring person? If you want the latter send me an email, I'd really like to get to know you.
--[name2]
October 21, 2010
RE: how are you doing?
No, there's no harm in getting to know me. Thanks for the double fist pump,
I assume that means you are down with the 420. That's good, I'd love to smoke
you out some time.
Anyway, what can I tell you that's not in my profile... Well, I didn't put in what a nice guy I am, because that just seemed like bragging, but I'm really a very nice guy. The most gentlemanly of gentlemen, I will open doors for you and whatever other chivalrous acts you may desire. I am very much the picture of respect towards women. I have two sisters and a very strong mother, and they taught me well.
Cerritos is 16 miles away from me, that's good.
What else can I tell you... Hmm, I've had two major relationships in my life, one was 2 and a half years, the other was 6 months. And they were, respectively, the best and worst times of my life. I miss the 2 1/2 year relations hip--not the person so much (for near the end of the relationship we were disagreeing a lot), but the feeling of being needed by a person and needing that person back.
As for my sense of humor, I tend to reign it in, when it comes to email. Email is too easy to misinterpret when it comes to humor. But in person, I am very humorous. Not so much the sarcasm, more like flippancy. Sarcasm can sometimes seem to have truth in it, but I am not that sensitive if you are sarcastic.
Anyway, that is a bit about me. Your turn. (Also, I'm willing to court in email for as long as you want, but if/when you are ready to meet, my number is [#], send me a text message.)
--[name2]
October 21, 2010
[Kela]
[Kela],
I'm hoping we can go out again soon. I really had a wonderful time with you. You're also ridiculously beautiful, so I don't want to lose any chance I might have with you. But I understand the demands of children, so I'm willing to work around your schedule. (I'm also fine with rain checks, provided when the sun comes out, so do you.)
Any chance you'll be free this weekend? I'm free Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Maybe we should do a day time activity. Go explore some place together, walk around. Or we can get dinner again, I really enjoyed that. Perhaps even just get drinks on Main Street. Maybe we could go to the park, take our art supplies, and do some drawing of each other and the general area. I don't really know yet what you like to do. Me, I just want to be around you, I think you are smart and funny and generally as "awesome" as you said in your text message.
I know you haven't been in the dating scene lately much, and to be honest, neither have I. You know, we should do some chatting online. I don't know what kind of chat program you use, I am awbvious@yahoo.com and awbvious@gmail.com and [#] on AOL IM. I like chatting online, it's a great way to get to know each other. Anyway, I'm proceeding assuming you still want to go out again--I thought our date was a success, I felt serious chemistry. So let me know when you are free again, because I would love to see you again.
--[name2]
October 21, 2010
hi
I noticed you were looking at my profile, and I find you very attractive. Any
chance you'd like to get to know each other? If so, give me a message. I'd very
much like to learn all about you.
--[name2]
October 21, 2010
love the green
I'm about as herbal as they come, been smoking herb since I was 20. Perhaps
I am too old for you, but I'm looking for a girl who smokes pot. Do you have
any pictures? I like curvy, but not bbw. If you are beautiful, I'll gladly smoke
you out. Anyway, you can send your picture to _awbvious_@talkmatch.com . I'd
like to hear from you.
--[name2]
October 21, 2010
hey
So, your last read was "when pot is legal." I've never read the book,
but I found you because I did a search for "pot." You see, I am a
self-proclaimed pot-head, and am looking for a likeminded individual? Are you
down with 420? If so, send me a message, I'll smoke you out.
--[name2]
October 21, 2010
welcome to match.com
I like your pictures, and newport beach is nice and close. Would you like to
get to know each other? I'm a cool guy, I promise.
--[name2]
October 21, 2010
my best friend is gay, so I'm right there with you
And I love the fact you read Scientific American. It is all I read as well.
I think it is really cool that you are a software engineer, I spend a lot of
time with them (I work at USC for the Center for Systems and Software Engineering).
Anyway, I'd like to get to know you, but you haven't been online in over 3 weeks,
so I am not optimistic that this message will get to you. If it does, give me
a message. Or email me, _awbvious_@talkmatch.com, it sounds like we have a lot
in common. Thanks.
--[name2]
October 21, 2010
legalize it!
Hey Rachel,
I like your profile. So you are in favor of legalization? So am I. (I'm also for gay rights and abortion rights.) I'm also an atheist for the most part, though I go to church with my mother to make her happy. I love animals, and I'm glad that you do to. Anyway, I'm not much of a go-out-and-drink kind of guy, I'm more stay-in-and-smoke. I'd love to smoke you out. How about it? You can contact me here or email me at _awbvious_@talkmatch.com. Thanks.
--[name2]
October 26, 2010
RE: how are you doing?
Alicia,
You never responded to my other email. Perhaps you were busy. Do you want to get to know each other?
--[name2]
October 27, 2010
RE: [Kela]
Thanks for getting back to me. I understand you being busy. Do you have time
on Saturday or Sunday? I'd love to see you.
--[name2]
October 27, 2010
i like your picture
You're very attractive. You want someone who will be serious, I can be, but
at the same time have a sense of humor. Anyway, I'd like to get to know you,
if you'd like to get to know me. Please send me an email.
October 27, 2010
hi
I tried to send you an instant message, but you didn't respond. I thought I'd
try an email just in case. You're very attractive. I'd like to get to know you.
Would you like to get to know me? I promise I'm cute, funny, down-to-earth,
and adventurous.
--[name2]
October 27, 2010
would you still like to go out on Tuesday?
Hi, our chat ended prematurely yesterday. I'm not even sure how much of my messages
you got, I gave you my phone number [#]. I'd like to meet you for a date on
Tuesday at the Bamboo Bistro, but if you want to get to know each other some
more before then, I'm fine with that also. I also sent a message that I could
pick you up, but we could meet there, that's fine by me. You're really pretty,
so I hope you'll have some time. Thanks.
--[name2]
October 30, 2010
RE: would you still like to go out on Tuesday?
My conference ends on Thursday, so that would probably be the best day. On Wednesday
I have to be there until 8 PM (theoretically). On Thursday it ends at 4:15,
which means at most 30 minutes of clean-up, and then getting to the restaurant
around 6:15-6:30. If you can wait until Thursday, that would be great. And it
wouldn't be rushing, it will be me, glad to be done with the conference and
looking forward to a relaxing meal. I'm very much looking forward to it.
--[name2]
November 02, 2010
RE:
I'd hate to have to wait that long. Why not Friday, Saturday, or Sunday night?
If not, Monday is okay, but it would have to be 8:30 PM. Thanks.
--[name2]
November 03, 2010
RE: [Kela]
[Kela],
I still want to go on another date. Do you? If you are busy, I understand, but I'd like to see you this weekend Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. Please let me know whether you are available or not. If you're not available, I will try again in the future, unless you tell me you're not interested. Right now, I just assume you are busy, so I'm willing to wait, because I had such a good time when we went out. Thanks.
--[name2]
November 03, 2010
RE: how are you doing?
Alright. One last time. If you want to get to know each other, send me another
message. If not, don't worry, I won't bother you any more. Thanks.
--[name2]
November 04, 2010
hi
You seem someone who demands a clever and thought out missive. I will do my
best. If you are wondering what drew me to your profile (besides your attractiveness,
which, as you say, is only part of the package), it was the part where you say
you get along with artistic hippies. I am not quite grungy enough to be a hippy,
and I cut my long hair a few years ago, but I am a hippy at heart. Also, you
are clearly well-read, more so than myself, but I find it delightfully intimidating.
If I need anything in life, it is definitely a sensitive and intelligent woman
(who is also beautiful--of course). Please send me a message, and let's get
to know each other better.
--[name2]
November 09, 2010
RE: would you still like to go out on Tuesday?
I just want to confirm our dinner at the bamboo bistro at 7 PM. Please leave me a message on my cell phone [#] or here (ideally on my cell) so I know that I'll see you there. Right now, I don't know if we're on for the date or not. Thanks.
November 22, 2010
RE: [Kela]
Well, you're more than worth persisting over. After thanksgiving, hmm. Okay, I can wait until then. And in the meantime, why don't you send me an email here or on my non-match account (awbvious@awbvious.com), tell me what's going on in your life? K. Talk to you soon.
November 29, 2010
RE: [Kela]
Well, it's after thanksgiving, and if you want to go out, just pick a night. I get the impression that weekends aren't so great for you. That's okay, I can do any night but Wednesday. If it's Monday, it'll have to be 8:30 or later. So when is good for you?
--[name2]
November 29, 2010
sorry we haven't connected on instant messenger.
You seem gone whenever I am around, and vice versa. Oh well, that's still no reason we can't work out a date. I still want to see you again, if you still want to see me. I'm good for every night but wednesday. It would be great if you could tell me a few days you are available. Thanks.
--[name2]
November 30, 2010
I saw that you had viewed my profile
And I thought I'd drop a line. I don't know if I got "it" to get "it." That is to say, I don't know if I'm the kind of guy who will understand what you are saying when you are saying it, but I'm never a guy to say you shouldn't say it. In other words, I get the impression that "life" and "grow" are important to you. I think so too, there are far worse things that to thrive and evolve.
I like especially that you want a best friend. I want one too. It would be great if we could be each other's.
November 30, 2010
saw you in my daily 5
I could give you long and canned, but I'll give you short and original. Inside the nutshell we find stable (I am stable), single (I am single), fit (I do yoga once or twice a week), active (I'm not inactive), quick wit (um......), sense of humor (I thought that was hilarious), adventurous (like Indiana Jones--on a suburban scale), creative (I like to write these silly emails to women, and I always put thought into them, though I am told it is a numbers game), great communicator (wasn't that Reagan?), sincere (unless I am comparing myself to Indiana Jones), true gentleman (my lady, I am nothing but), and knows what it takes to be a great friend and most importantly a partner (communication! that's a given). Hope you are well, hope you have a good day, and hope to hear from you.
November 30, 2010
you are very beautiful
Much like a persian cat
You are beautiful at that
A delectable bite
An indelible sight
Eyes that gleam and shine
Lips like deep red wine
A nose cute as a rose
And hair that is silky and glows
November 30, 2010
so...
You're seeking men who are 24 to 45. Well, I'm right smack in the middle. I'm 31, and you're very pretty. I'd like to get to know you. Just like you, I like to get to know people as well. So tell me about yourself and I'll tell you about myself. We can start simple. How are you doing today?
November 30, 2010
hi
Your profile doesn't have much in it. But really, what do all those words really mean. We all want someone who is giving, respectful, honest. So, I applaud you for not having a bloated profile.
November 30, 2010
up for some karaoke
I love music. I love my cat too, so it's hard to decide what to put on my profile. But I love music would be a likely second choice. (I like dogs too.) anyway, we should go out for drinks and karaoke. If that sounds interesting to you, hit me up.
November 30, 2010
hey, we like r&b
I listen to r&b almost exclusively right now, my artists on pandora.com
are Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, Solomon Burke, Sam & Dave, Al Green, Marvin Gaye, Otis Redding, Sam Cooke. Those are just some of my favorites, I would put people like Gladys Knight, but but her channel had a lot of other singers i didn't particularly care about. What are your favorite artists?
December 04, 2010
hi alyssa
I like your profile. You are very attractive. Drop me a line if you want to get to know each other better. Look forward to hearing from you.
December 04, 2010
what's up doc?
How many men have used that line, I wonder. Anyway, I love animals. I once had a girlfriend who was in bio anthro, and she loved the zoo. So we went to the zoo often. I love the sight and the fact of these animals, but it was always a bit too disconcerting that they were locked up in the cages. My cat is my life... Okay, maybe not, but he is a significant portion of the contentment and happiness in my life. I'd like to get to know you better.
--[name2]
December 04, 2010
i realize I'm 6' 1"
But maybe we are compatible nonetheless. Your pictures do not show enough of you, fyi. What's going on?
December 04, 2010
RE: [Kela]
Alright, one last email, again... Actually, I'm just kidding, I don't really mind. The fact is I had a good time when I was with you. And if you want me to persist, I will persist, until you tell me otherwise. You are not a writer (perhaps), but I am, so I can afford to write some long missives. Nonetheless, I think it prudent to keep to a short one right now. I believe next week will be my last for classes--yes I just checked. So, after that, I'm free any night.
December 08, 2010
hi bianca
So, I never can my emails, I always write something unique. So, I'm writing you an electronic letter. And all those things you described in your profile apply to me--but I'm sure they all say that. When you say you want a man who genuinely enjoys being with you, I appreciate that and feel the same way when it comes to my desire in a woman. All too often I'm afraid I'm taking someone's time, time they'd rather be spending with someone else. But I know that is not the case, I just have that irrational fear nonetheless. I'm honest always, sometimes to my own detriment, but it feels good not lying. I could go on, and will, if you email me back.
December 08, 2010
hey i love your pic
That is too funny. So, hot chick, what's going on?
December 08, 2010
sometimes I don't know why
I doubt very highly that you'll be interested. I'm 31 and still live with my parents and smoke weed. This is not the totality of me, but those are my less than stellar qualities. Like you I only work 4 days a week, my job is only part time. I never get high at or before work, just when I get home. Like some people would have a single drink when they come home from work. I could never do that, for alcoholism runs in my family, so I just have a simple toke, and drink once a week at the most. I'll be the first to admit, I'm at a transition point in my life, and I can't say what the transition will be, but anyway, that's me. Should you be interested.
December 08, 2010
I'd let you ramble
I'm 31, so I'm a year older than you are looking for, but hey. I like your profile, pretty funny. I don't know why you don't show your unnaturally long torso. So, you like to ramble? Ramble on. I'm a very easy listener. Pick a direction, grab a tangent, run with it until it starts to fly. I'd be more than happy to help you on. So, what's going on, ramble me an email.
December 08, 2010
you say you're looking for men 23 to 41, i love it
And here I was afraid you would be dismayed that I was 31. Anyway, we're local! And I'm fun! Honest. (And I'm honest.) We can go down to Main Street and you can tell me if they're watering down the drinks or not. (I don't know, I think it's cool that you are a bartender though. I've thought about doing that myself.)
December 08, 2010
cartoons
Cartoons are fun. I'll give you that. I am easily entertained by a good episode of the Smurfs. My best friend, who happens to be gay, not that it matters to what I'm talking about, loves to watch anime. So we watch a lot of anime. He lives in Australia, so we talk to each other through instant messenger. We both download the episode and watch them at the same time while instant messaging each other. It is quite fun. Lately, we've been watching One Piece, it's not bad. So, hit me up, we'll watch some toons.
December 08, 2010
hey
How are you doing? I see you are online right now. Send me a message, I'm interested in getting to know you.
December 08, 2010
hey
So, you're a surfer, right on. Anyway, I'm looking for love, hence I am here on match.com
. I'm not perfect, but no one is. I'm really nice, though. I'll treat you with kindness and respect. I had very strong willed sisters and mother growing up, and they instilled in me the good sense to open doors for women and whatnot. Anyway, give me a message, I'd love to get to know you.
--[name2]
December 08, 2010
do you like soul music?
I love soul music. I was listening to it today at work. Anyway, what's going on? (As Marvin would say.) Everything is everything.
December 08, 2010
My god you are beautiful
And you like soul music! It couldn't be better. If you like Motown, I'll sing you any Motown song you'd like. In fact, just name it, and I'll cover it and put it on my website, www.awbvious.com
. You can hear me sing all kinds of Motown on there. Why just two weeks ago, I met up with an old friend, she told me how she always thinks of me when she hears You Are the Sunshine of My Life--so, in her honor, I went and recorded the song for her. (The only instruments I use are my voice and harp--I would have used guitar, but the chords were too difficult.)
http://www.awbvious.com/audio/awbvious--youarethesunshineofmylife.mp3
Anyway, I will give anything if you respond to me, you are so beautiful. And we have a musical connection. Please give me a message back, in particular with a song title you want to hear. I would love to record something in your honor, just beca use you are so damn beautiful.
--[name2] (aka awbvious)
December 12, 2010
hey
so you like ray charles. (And a few other commendable groups, I might add.) I covered ray charles a few months ago: http://www.awbvious.com/audio/awbvious--whatdisay-parts1and2.mp3
Take a listen then tell me what you think. K. Bye.
December 12, 2010
a bit shy
Hi,
I'm a bit shy. Not terribly, but enough. I believe in family and friends, and I'm sure they would vouch for me.
You say don't be too shy to say hello, but will you respond to me? If you don't, then I will probably become more shy. (Not trying to use guilt as a tactic.) If you say hello, and exchange a few emails with me--even if it goes nowhere--I would be happy. Like you said, I enjoy making new friends. Perhaps you can be one of mine.
December 12, 2010
so are you interested?
According to Match.com, you are interested. If that is the case, then I must follow through. What's going on? Send me a message. Hope you are well and that we can get together.
--[name2]
December 15, 2010
kawai
I believe that's right. Kowai means scary, and kawai means cute, right? I watch a lot of anime with my friend [Stephen]. A /lot/ of anime. Lately, we've been watching One Piece, which is probably one of the most popular anime in Japan, so you've probably heard of it. I'd love to visit Japan some day. Patrick is coming to visit America (he lives in Australia) in a few weeks, so I'm looking forward to that. Let's get together and talk about anime. (I swear I'm not otaku.) (Again, I think I got that right.)
December 15, 2010
hey what's going on?
I like R&B also. Particularly classic R&B, I like artists like Solomon Burke. I doubt you've ever heard of him. I once met him and I was sooo nervous. He signed something for me, I told him how much his music meant to me, but I don't know if he knew to what extent. Anyway, give me an email, let's talk.
December 15, 2010
you like dylan?
I love dylan. I can play quite a few Dylan songs on my guitar and harmonicas. I used to go to the corner of main street and play my guitar/harp and sing--not for money, just for kicks (and the hope that it might get me some girl's number--never happened). Anyway, I'd love to play you a song or two. Let me know if you are interested.
December 15, 2010
hi
I'm a bit shy myself. Also friendly. I know you are looking for an older man, but someone your own age might do you good. You like gospel music? Have you ever heard any Sam Cooke and the Soul Stirrers? They are my favorite. I acquired an album of theirs and have covered it many times. When I feel lost, I like to listen to it, it gives me strength.
I really would like to get to know you, I like the fact that you are religious. I've often thought I'd like to get to know someone at my church, but, again, too shy. Anyway, I hope you are well and have a good time on match. It has yet to get me love (otherwise, I wouldn't be on it any more), but maybe it will work out for you. Thanks.
--[name2]
December 15, 2010
hi
You don't like describing yourself, and I don't like sending emails to people that never get responded. And yet I have to do it. And you have to read these (or maybe you don't) and not respond to them, or else... Who knows, something extremely tragic might happen like you'll meet a friend. They say it is a numbers game. I guess like playing the lotto. I never enjoyed playing the lottery. And I put in a dollar's worth of time every time. But I never win. Is this email a dollar's worth? I don't know. Anyway, I'm in need of a smile. I'm a great guy--they all say that--but a bit lonely. Scare the bejeeses out of me and shock me into next tuesday with a response.
December 15, 2010
hi
You are very pretty. I'd like to get to know you. I like how you would like a "small" puppy. Small puppies grow up to be big dogs, sometimes. Anyway, I never know what to write here. Sure, I could give you a canned email, but I like to be original at all times. I'm looking for a serious relationship. I can treat you with love and respect. Give me a message, maybe we can get together.
--[name2]
December 15, 2010
looking for someone honest
I'm looking for someone honest as well. A lot of people are. I wonder if we are looking for more honest people than there are honest people around. I wish I could help you with your car, but I am a computer person, not a car person. Computers are the new cars for guys. It used to be you'd see someone's car dismantled on the lawn. Now it is dissembled computer parts strewn on the kitchen table. If you have any computer problems, I can help with them. I don't drink a lot either. I'm not too into the bar scene, and that seems to be the only way to meet people. But I'd like to get to know you. You want to get sushi some time?
December 15, 2010
hi I saw you checked out my profile
Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Nonetheless, I will use it as my excuse to email you. I think it is great that you are a published photographer. I'd love to be a published writer. So, you live in [town]? I go there every Sunday with my mother for church. We go to [our church]'s which is right next to main street. Then we have coffee (tea for me) go down main street and walk the pier. You're very pretty, worth photographing, or drawing for that matter. I'd love to make a drawing of you. Anyway, how would you like to walk on the pier with me? My mother is pleasant company and all, but it would be really nice to see it with you.
December 16, 2010
what's going on?
I noticed you were checking out my profile. What's going on? If you are looking for a gentleman, you don't have to look much further. Anyway, give me a message.
--[name2]
December 22, 2010
I know your profile says active over 3 weeks ago
But I thought I'd try anyway, as you are so pretty. I'd love to show you some of southern california. If you are interested, send me a line.
December 22, 2010
don't like country music
But I hope you won't hold that against me. I see that you are very pretty, if you are interested in getting together for sushi, let me know.
December 22, 2010
hi
What's going on? I read your profile and am interested. Send me a message and let's get to know each other.
Thanks!
--[name2]
December 22, 2010
i like the fact you roam.
I like to roam as well, here there everywhere. You're very pretty, I'd like to get to know you. I'm withdrawn from the social scene as well, which is why I am on match. Again, you're very very pretty. Send me a message and let's get together some time. K. Talk to you soon.
--[name2]
December 22, 2010
hey
I noticed you checked out my profile--a long time ago--but you are really pretty, so I thought I'd give it a shot. How are you doing? You want to get sushi some time? Let me know!
--[name2]
December 22, 2010
Hello!
You are amazingly beautiful. I would give anything for a chance to be in your presence. Just so I could soak up a little of the sexy radiance you give off. Lord. You make my heart speed up. I just want to worship you. Just look at you. Maybe draw you. Or write a song in your honor.
December 22, 2010
i like your profile
I love to sing. And you wear glasses! That's very sexy. (I used to wear glasses, but I got Lasik recently--not for appearance, but convenience.) I'm very kind, I will pay an old lady to cross the street when we are together, so you can watch me walk her across. Really, you are very pretty. I value creativity. I'm creative myself, I think the best gifts are the ones you make yourself. That's why I'm willing to write you a song, should we go out. Should we go out? Of course! So... Hit me up! I really want to spend some time with you. K.
--[name2]
December 28, 2010
so i'm doing an art project
So, I'm doing an art project. I'm taking all my match emails--which so far haven't gotten me any luck--and putting them online. Maybe by doing so, someone will read them and say, "oh, that's the problem." Anyway, you're part of the art now:
http://www.awbvious.com/matchemails.htm
December 28, 2010
hey, you're part of art now.
So, I'm not sure if I've messaged you before, as I've read that line in the past: "no BAGS of any sort allowed!! (Douche, Tool, Dirt, Scum)." It's funny, so I'd use it. Anyway, I'm doing this thing now where I'm putting my match.com
emails online. Partly because it is art--or at least how I define it--partly because I want to give women a chance to really see what I am like. How better than to read all of the emails I send out to potential mates? Anyway, you'll be going up (without your name, of course) on that virtual wall in a minute.
http://www.awbvious.com/matchemails.htm