caveat emptor

I need to do some writing for a change.

I want to fuck.

but she doesn’t.

Things are … different.  But I can survive.  I can only write about the bad times.  during the good times, I’m not going to want to write.  but what would I want to read?

I want to fuck, bad.  But I can’t say anything, because I know its not my decision alone.  If I want to masterbate, I can.  That ain’t no bag of hers.

She horny, I think, I can tell by the ay she does that small lick upon her top lip, I do the same thing.  I’m doing it too.

Sexual frustration is very common.  To me, at least.

She is moving around the bed, looking desiring.  But I don’t know how to go to her, and I don’t want to be rejected, fuck that.  I don’t need it, her, or her on those terms.

What to do…

“you say you have a Sonic’s here?”
pause “yeah, they have a Sonic’s here.”
“Aw… I miss Sonic’s…”

I miss fucking.

But I have to censor myself, I can’t say anything, god forbid I go more than 24 hours (and it has been) without sex.  Have to nip this in the bud, otherwise I’ve got the same problem I had with my Ex.

Can’t ruin sex, I like it too much…  Can’t say what I want, must be quiet, must be patient, must not be an alarmist, will only make things worse…

“what are you doing?”
“writing”
“what are you writing about?”
“stuff”
“what kind of stuff?”
“nothing”
“is it about me?”
small pause “yeah”
“is it good things, am I going to like it?”
small pause “I don’t know…”
“can I read it?”
“if you want…”
silence.

I won’t have to say a word though, if she reads it, caveat emptor.