[diner, soda jerk stand, a la sitcom—charles in charge]
G1: I swear, I need to lose my virginity.
G2: But what about Greg…
1: That didn’t count, no penetration.
2: Well what about Jim…
1: No vaginal penetration.
2: Mike?
1: Vaginal penetration, by a penis.
2: Tom?
1: He just put it in, there was no motion.
2. (thinks, gets one) Charles?
1: (revises) No penetration to culmination…
2: Steve?
1: …culminating while still inside of me.
2: Ahh, what about Mark? (slightly disdainfully, apologetically) Or Jim?
1: (exasperated) No vaginal penetration with a penis to the point of culmination, inside of me, in a situation where I’m not too drunk to remember. Okay?
(beat)
Anyway, like I said, I need to lose my virginity soon. Because if I don’t, I’ll just get drunk and give my feminine virtue away at some frat party. So, the next guy who walks in, I’m fucking.
[Nikolov walks in]

[diner, girls, same place]
G1: Damn, I didn’t expect to fall in love!
2: What’s wrong with that?
1: Nothing… I guess. I mean, he’s smart, funny, handsome, successful, sensitive… Everything I’ve always wanted. He’s my ideal mate. I’ve never felt so happy and fulfilled in a relationship… He’s the perfect guy.
(beat)
And yet…
(beat)
Let’s face it, the next guy who walks in, I’m fucking.
[Random Guy walks in. Cut to G2’s face, has “here we go again” expression. Cut to in front of Soda Jerk bar, G1 is apparently riding him, having extravagant sex, though we can’t see him. She’s looking forward, eyes closed. But then the door opens close, she looks to the door, and eyes are wide in surprise. Cut to Steve looking amazed. Cut back to bar, she’s standing up, apparently, finishing pulling up her panties and fixing her skirt. She runs to him.]
G1: Oh, I’m so sorry Nikolov. I don’t know what I was thinking.
N: Its okay. I’m hurt, but I think we can work through this. I love you.
1: I love you too! [embrace] [cut back to G2 who is now accompanied by Random Guy]
Random Guy and G2: Women! [they look at each other, and start kissing hardcore]